Article
How do you rebuild after a marriage ends?
Divorce asks you to grieve and reorganize your entire life at the same time, usually while other people have opinions.
The short answer
The end of a marriage is a loss, whether or not it was the right outcome. Grief, relief, anger, fear and hope commonly appear together, and rebuilding tends to happen in practical increments rather than in one decision.
What you are carrying at once
- Grief for the marriage, and for the future you had assumed.
- Logistics: money, housing, schedules, attorneys.
- Children who need you to be steady while you are not.
- Faith questions, and sometimes a church community's response.
- The story other people are telling about you.
What tends to help
Somewhere private to say the unedited version. A short list of what actually has to happen this month. Boundaries around who gets access to your process.
For many women, the hardest part is not the decision but the loneliness of the year that follows it. That is exactly what counseling is useful for.
If faith is part of this
Many women arrive with real questions about God, church and their own sense of failure. Lori will not hand you a verse and move on, and she will not require you to talk about faith at all. It is your call.
Common questions
Does Lori do marriage counseling?
Lori works individually with women and female students, and can support you through this season individually.
Will I be judged for divorcing?
No. You will be listened to first.
What if I initiated it?
Grief and relief are both common, and both are welcome in the room.
Learn more about counseling for grief and life transitions with Lori, or browse all articles on grief and life transitions.
Written by Lori Rasmussen, LISW, a Licensed Independent Social Worker licensed in the State of Iowa and a Certified Spiritual Director. Lori counsels women and female students in Waterloo, Iowa and online across Iowa. Articles here are meant to help you understand what you may be experiencing; they are not a diagnosis and they do not take the place of care from a professional who knows your story.
Reaching out can be the first step.
You don't need to know exactly what to say, or have anything figured out, before you contact Lori.
Or email rasmussencounselingandsd@gmail.com