Article
How do you function at work while grieving?
Grief does not wait for you to be off the clock. Neither does the person who asks how your weekend was.
The short answer
Most people need a plan rather than composure. A prepared sentence, a private place to reset, lowered expectations of yourself, and one person at work who knows usually make the difference.
Practical things that help
- Have one sentence ready. We had a loss in the family, and I am doing all right today.
- Choose one colleague who knows, so you are not managing it alone.
- Find a place you can go for five minutes. A car counts.
- Lower the bar on non-essential work for a while, on purpose.
- Expect ambush moments. A song, a smell, a form asking for next of kin.
When a wave hits mid day
Step out if you can. Slow your breathing. Put cold water on your wrists. Let it move through instead of fighting it, then return.
Grief that surfaces at work is not unprofessional. It is grief showing up where you happened to be standing.
If work has become impossible
Sometimes the honest answer is that you need time, a reduced schedule or medical guidance. Talking it through with a counselor can help you decide what to ask for and how.
Common questions
How much should I tell my coworkers?
As little or as much as you want. One clear sentence is usually enough.
Is it normal to be forgetful and foggy?
Yes. Concentration and memory are commonly affected by grief.
When should I get counseling for this?
Whenever carrying it alone stops working, which is often sooner than people allow themselves to admit.
Learn more about counseling for grief and life transitions with Lori, or browse all articles on grief and life transitions.
Written by Lori Rasmussen, LISW, a Licensed Independent Social Worker licensed in the State of Iowa and a Certified Spiritual Director. Lori counsels women and female students in Waterloo, Iowa and online across Iowa. Articles here are meant to help you understand what you may be experiencing; they are not a diagnosis and they do not take the place of care from a professional who knows your story.
Reaching out can be the first step.
You don't need to know exactly what to say, or have anything figured out, before you contact Lori.
Or email rasmussencounselingandsd@gmail.com