Article
What does a healthy relationship with food actually look like?
When food has been a source of rules and guilt for years, it can be hard to picture what the alternative even is.
The short answer
A healthy relationship with food is mostly unremarkable. You eat regularly, you enjoy some meals more than others, food is not a moral event, and eating does not require earning or repaying. It is quieter than it is perfect.
What it tends to look like
- Eating regularly, without needing a reason.
- No secret rules about good foods and bad foods.
- Being able to eat with other people without doing math in your head.
- Hunger and fullness feeling like information rather than a test.
- A meal that goes differently than planned is not a failure and does not need to be fixed.
What it is not
It is not eating perfectly, and it is not never thinking about food. Everyone has preferences, budgets, medical needs and days when eating is disorganized.
The difference is how much room food takes up in your thoughts, and whether your sense of your own worth is riding on it.
How people get there
Usually gradually, with support, and rarely by trying harder on their own. Recovery work in counseling tends to focus on regular eating, the beliefs underneath the rules, and what the rules were protecting you from.
If eating is currently unsafe or your body is unwell, medical care comes alongside counseling. A physician and a dietitian are often part of the team.
Common questions
Do I need a diagnosis to get help with food?
No. Plenty of women seek help because food takes up too much space in their thinking, without any formal diagnosis.
Will counseling tell me what to eat?
No. Meal planning belongs with a dietitian or physician. Counseling addresses the thoughts, feelings and pressures around eating.
Is it too late to change this?
People make progress at every age and after many years. No outcome can be promised, and change is genuinely possible.
Learn more about counseling for eating disorders and body image with Lori, or browse all articles on eating, food and body image.
Written by Lori Rasmussen, LISW, a Licensed Independent Social Worker licensed in the State of Iowa and a Certified Spiritual Director. Lori counsels women and female students in Waterloo, Iowa and online across Iowa. Articles here are meant to help you understand what you may be experiencing; they are not a diagnosis and they do not take the place of care from a professional who knows your story.
Reaching out can be the first step.
You don't need to know exactly what to say, or have anything figured out, before you contact Lori.
Or email rasmussencounselingandsd@gmail.com