Article
When has eating become more than a diet?
Almost nobody notices the line being crossed. It happens slowly, in small decisions that each seemed reasonable at the time.
What are the signs that it has started taking up more room?
You do not have to recognize all of these. One or two showing up regularly is worth paying attention to.
- Deciding what to eat takes more thought and negotiation than it used to.
- A good day or a bad day is measured by what you ate or how your body looked.
- Eating around other people feels like something to manage rather than enjoy.
- You have private rules about food, and breaking one costs you the rest of the day.
- Exercise feels less like care and more like paying something back.
- You are tired of thinking about it, and also afraid of what happens if you stop.
Why is it rarely really about food?
Food is often where something else gets managed: pressure, perfectionism, grief, a season that felt out of control, or the sense that you are only acceptable when you are doing everything right. Rules can feel steadying when life does not.
That is why simply trying harder to eat normally so often fails. The pattern is doing a job. Counseling looks at the job it is doing, and at what could carry that weight instead.
Questions people ask first
How do I know if it is disordered eating and not just dieting?
One useful question is how much room it takes up. When food, weight or exercise rules shape your mood, your plans and how you feel about yourself, it has moved past a diet, even if your weight looks unremarkable to other people.
Do I have to be diagnosed with an eating disorder to get help?
No. You do not need a diagnosis or a certain number on a scale to talk to someone. Many people come in while things are still manageable, which is often the easier place to start.
Will counseling take away my ability to make my own food choices?
No. The goal is not more rules. The goal is for food and your body to take up less of your attention so there is room for the rest of your life.
Read more about counseling for eating disorders and body image, or about self-worth and confidence. If you are a parent reading this for a daughter, counseling for teen girls may be the better starting point.
Written by Lori Rasmussen, LISW, a Licensed Independent Social Worker licensed in the State of Iowa and a Certified Spiritual Director. Lori counsels women and female students in Waterloo, Iowa and online across Iowa. Articles here are meant to help you understand what you may be experiencing; they are not a diagnosis and they do not take the place of care from a professional who knows your story.
Reaching out can be the first step.
You don't need to know exactly what to say, or have anything figured out, before you contact Lori.
Or email rasmussencounselingandsd@gmail.com